Monday, November 28, 2011

Seeing in a different way.

Working in film has changed the way I experience movies. I find it hard not to be over-analytical. It's particularly difficult when I watch something that I worked on. I watched Lord of War the other night. 2004: I was subcontracted to work on one set only - a swish New York apartment. As I watched I found it impossible not to feel what was happening behind and around the camera. And then the circles get wider. I remembered driving to the studio on cold winter mornings, the refinery's flame wavering in the predawn light. One day I had to dress a child's bedroom in near darkness, while listening to Nicholas Cage rehearsing his lines through a paper thin wall. I remembered that feeling of unsettledness - I loved a boyfriend to distraction, for I was coming to the realization that he couldn't love me back. Long talks over soup and whiskey at Cafe Ganesh. Even though no mirrors were broken,  many years of bad luck and sadness would follow.
But I didn't know that then.

Arcadia asked the other day if things get easier as you get older. My answer is Yes and No, but mostly Yes. May the wonder never stop.

2 comments:

Petro said...

Lily,
How could he not love you back? Was he deaf, dumb and blind?
Good riddance!

The Sourcerer said...

oh Petro, that made me smile.
thank you.