A hole, in the shape of you.

How do you comfort someone who has lost half of their sky? The love of their life was there one day and gone the next. There was no warning, no ache or pain.

Vincent van Gogh, 1882

Life goes on, people say. But when you are grieving, it's the world that goes on. Your own life grinds to a painful halt. Long after people have stopped offering help or comfort, you are still retreating behind a door to weep.

How can you tell them that even though time makes things easier, you will still be reminded of someone every day, that sometimes, even after years, the missing is just as bad.

You can remind them to eat. You can say: keep your body strong. Yes, eat root vegetables - they will keep you anchored.

You can say: crying is good for you.

You can say: take it a day at a time, or an hour even.

But you can read all of that on any old website.

Rest in Peace R.H.