Do you know these people?

#
Him: Yes, they are my great grandparents - Bernard and Bernadette van Zefflinghof.
Both were eaten by a lion called Cedric, who never admitted his guilt 'till his dying days
where he was kept in the penguin enclosure at the Tivoli Gardens, Copenhagen.
#
Me: dude naw! I thought it was Obscurio with one of his hoochy girls.
#
Him: That 'aint no hoochy girl! That's a 'kick-a-camel-in-his-arse-girl' That's my great
granny in drag.
#
Me: well. I must say, they have great physiques.
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Him: It was rumored that Great Grandad was actually a blow up doll.
#
Him: My grandfather, his son, once told me that he saw his mother blow up his father.
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Me: Gosh. I am lost for words.
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Him: That's what great granddad was heard to have said.

(This is the kind of repartee that keeps me 
from leaving Facebook)